i used to feel like i never *really* had friends, or like they were never *actually* my friends. in fact, for the longest time, i couldn’t have defined “friend,” let alone “best friend,” even if you’d put a gun to my head. i eventually decided to do away with the phrase “best friend” altogether, for my own sake.
i always felt like people were only my “friends” because they were obliged to be, or we had friends in common, or because i always put myself near them.
but it wasn’t until this week that i noticed i haven’t felt that in a long time…
i haven’t felt like that since i graduated college. it’s never been an issue for me here.
i don’t really know what to do with this…
I’ve never felt more welcomed and a part of anything in my life until tonight, until this past year. I never want to leave.
And all this in a country that has no concept of the words “communication” or “transparency.” They may not be perfect but I can’t leave yet…I’m not sure I can say I’ve ever felt that anyone was sad to see me leave or happy to have me stay, not as much as I felt this week.